Breaking up with dignity is a herculean task! With emotions at a high pitch, despair at the backdoor and confusion swirling around – how can this be done? Kudos to all who can break up with their dignity preserved!Here is a text message breakup of a 3-and-a-half-year relationship between a single woman and a married man. I hope it offers clues and hope to others.Woman: You seem kinda distant…are you okay?Man: Well, actually, I’ve realized that we shouldn’t be seeing each other.Woman: Sorry.Man: No, I’m sorry. I’ve rationalized in my mind that I’m not hurting anyone, but I know that what I’m doing is a sin.Woman: I have struggled with this as well.Man: I hoped you would understand. I find it difficult to come to God in prayer when I repeatedly and intentionally do things I know are wrong.Woman: I do fear God and do not want to do wrong.Man: Yes, indeed. I ask your forgiveness.Woman: Thank you. I need you to forgive me as well. Can we mutually forgive?Man: Absolutely. I know we share a reverence for our Lord and Savior and wish only to love him above all things and to love or neighbors as ourselves.Woman: I believe God will honor your sacrifice and bless you. I trust God has a plan and I want to be a faithful person.Man: Amen, your faith has been a real-life example to me. And to others as well.Woman: I am very grateful for your support during these past 3.5 years. Thank you so much.Man: And vice versa. Can we continue to support each other? Or would you prefer me not to communicate?Woman: May we continue to support from a friendship? I would like this.Man: YesUnderstandably these two individuals are Christian but the sense of doing wrong – cheating in a marriage – and asking for forgiveness are universal.In breaking up (for whatever reason) the components are:1.) Expressing a desire to terminate the relationship2.) Offering some reason that is about the person doing the breakup and not blaming it on the shortcomings of the other person.3.) Asking forgiveness for areas where there may have been misleading, miscommunication – for example, if vague plans for a vacation together in the future were made without thinking it through.4.) Recognizing the value, the relationship played in each other’s lives.5.) Asking for clarification or providing clear boundaries if a friendship is possible or just needing to completely move on without further communication.If you are contemplating aa break up or worried about one on the horizon, you are welcome to contact me, and we can discuss further.For those of you forging ahead and going bravely where NO ONE wants to go – positive wishes that you have peace in your heart afterwards and your sense of dignity is intact!
Breaking up with dignity is a herculean task! With emotions at a high pitch, despair at the backdoor and confusion swirling around – how can this be done? Kudos to all who can break up with their dignity preserved!
Here is a text message breakup of a 3-and-a-half-year relationship between a single woman and a married man. I hope it offers clues and hope to others.
Woman: You seem kinda distant…are you okay?
Man: Well, actually, I’ve realized that we shouldn’t be seeing each other.
Woman: Sorry.
Man: No, I’m sorry. I’ve rationalized in my mind that I’m not hurting anyone, but I know that what I’m doing is a sin.
Woman: I have struggled with this as well.
Man: I hoped you would understand. I find it difficult to come to God in prayer when I repeatedly and intentionally do things I know are wrong.
Woman: I do fear God and do not want to do wrong.
Man: Yes, indeed. I ask your forgiveness.
Woman: Thank you. I need you to forgive me as well. Can we mutually forgive?
Man: Absolutely. I know we share a reverence for our Lord and Savior and wish only to love him above all things and to love or neighbors as ourselves.
Woman: I believe God will honor your sacrifice and bless you. I trust God has a plan and I want to be a faithful person.
Man: Amen, your faith has been a real-life example to me. And to others as well.
Woman: I am very grateful for your support during these past 3.5 years. Thank you so much.
Man: And vice versa. Can we continue to support each other? Or would you prefer me not to communicate?
Woman: May we continue to support from a friendship? I would like this.
Man: Yes
Understandably these two individuals are Christian but the sense of doing wrong – cheating in a marriage – and asking for forgiveness are universal.
In breaking up (for whatever reason) the components are:
1.) Expressing a desire to terminate the relationship.
2.) Offering some reason that is about the person doing the breakup and not blaming it on the shortcomings of the other person.
3.) Asking for forgiveness in areas where there may have been misleading or miscommunication – for example, if vague plans for a vacation together in the future were made without thinking it through.
4.) Recognizing the value, the relationship played in each other’s lives.
5.) Asking for clarification or providing clear boundaries if a friendship is possible or just needing to completely move on without further communication.
If you are contemplating a break up or worried about one on the horizon, you are welcome to contact me, and we can discuss further.
For those of you forging ahead and going bravely where NO ONE wants to go – positive wishes that you have peace in your heart afterwards and your sense of dignity is intact!