We survived Valentine’s Day -all of us who are unpartnered. Hopefully you each sent love to parents, teachers, neighbors, baristas, friends, widowed relatives, children, grandchildren, wait staff, coworkers, bosses, etc. You can’t ever know what issues plague them and how your Valentine to them lightened their hearts. If not this year, please next year celebrate others and expand the Hallmark holiday of romance to loving and appreciating others!
So, what do you do with the opposite of Valentine’s Day? Like Satan’s Day? Or Rudeness Day? What do you do when you encounter a mean spirit, boldfaced disrespect, cruelty? When a simple transaction with someone becomes a battleground of unreasonableness? There are such people out there – perhaps a co-worker or boss, a friend’s mate, a date gone badly.
I have an example to share. True story. I went out on a first date from Fumble, a dating site. I had pictures of me in my profile – granted the full body picture had three grandchildren around me so maybe my XXL hips were not super obvious. But at 5’1, I am short, over 60 and bound to be curvy. Most men my age have a gut, a butt, and yet claim to work out 4 times a week – a laughable profile statement.
This date took one look at me and would not even shake my hand to say hello. He had lost a Super Bowl bet so owed me dinner. We had exchanged some fun text messages, so I thought he had a good sense of humor. He “fulfilled his obligation” by paying for my dinner. He slammed 4 alcoholic drinks down, ordered an appetizer for himself and a big entree. I had a bowl of soup and a Diet Coke (of course). He spoke nonstop of uber expensive hunting trips to kill giraffes, zebras, and elephants in Africa. I listened horrified and looked at his cell phone pictures of animal head rugs, animal heads hanging off walls and a particularly gruesome lamp shade with a giraffe head hanging off the side. Intensely distasteful decorating, dialog, and descriptions of basically murder-for-hire as he used “hunting guides”. I declined dessert in order to get done with this ordeal. We walked to the parking lot. Said goodbye – clearly no promises to keep in touch. I felt the distain was clearly mutual. But no! The dude texted me from his car – immediately – that he was not interested in me and was seeking a more “athletic” woman’s body. Ouch. I had worn my slimming black outfit. I was aware I was not slim and at no time had made any reference to being close to being athletic. But ouch. I am more than just a chubby woman. I have value from the inside out. This was unbelievably rude and unnecessary.
So how does an intelligent woman handle rudeness. I texted back. “Thank you for dinner. I wish you well.” I took the high road. Swallowed the vile rising in my throat. Any other response would likely fall on deaf ears. I cannot change his tastes in women or killing animals. But I can be myself – kind, polite and strong.
How do you handle rudeness? I hope you are kind, polite and strong. Role model dignity and grace. If you have other examples of rudeness and how you handled it or wished you had, please write in! Let’s pool our ideas to elevate the world to a more thoughtful, accepting, pleasant planet!
Dr. Pepper