Dear Dr. Pepper James,
My daughter’s ex-husband brags about his superiority to my grandchild, who in turn brags to me about how great his dad is. I want to vomit. This man treated my daughter, the mother, horribly. He is no saint. How do I not explode to my grandchild when all I want to do is scream? Tasting the vile already forming,
Janet
Dear Janet,
How difficult this must be for you. I have many thoughts on this, but primarily I sense you are not taking care of yourself right now. The reason I say this is that the content of a child’s perception seems to be triggering you.
So, a question to you – if you felt healthy, whole, centered, calm, peaceful – would your grandchild’s natural hero worshipping of his dad, bother you so much?
My thought is that if you had all this going for you and the grandchild’s recitations of his dad’s greatness still bothers you, then we chat about jealousy, lingering grievances towards the father, etc.
If the answer is no, you do not live a well-balanced life, do not eat well, exercise, enjoy hobbies and have a work-play balance, we need to strengthen you from the inside out.
Janet, where are you on a scale of 0 to 10? Zero is your own life is out of balance. Ten is you are leading a pretty happy, adjusted life. Consider activities to strengthen your own life first if you are under 7. Write me back if you feel you are over 8 on the scale. We need to discuss this further.
“When you react, you let other control you. When you respond, you are in control.” ― Bohdi Sanders
Best to you,
Dr. Pepper James