Dear Dr. Pepper,
I am stumped. I went on a first meeting with a man. We had been texting for two weeks and seemed to have a good rapport going. We met at a coffee shop. I was dressed nicely. I had a list of conversation starters as a back up in case I got tongue-tied. I was ready.
But when he walked in and saw me, I thought I saw a flicker of disappointment. We went on to have an easy, pleasant conversation with a few laughs. That was a week ago. Nothing since – no texts, no calls. I know you said that the sperm chases the egg, so I refrained from contacting him.
Do you have some hints about the flicker I saw? I wish I had some tools in order to “read” men so I wouldn’t invest my heart on the wrong men.
Flicked Off
Dear Flicked Off,
There are many thoughts to share, but I will take the route of examining the flicker. I know you mentioned a flicker – was it in the eyes or the mouth? I recommend we examine the smile of the men you meet. The smile can tell you what the brain is thinking.
You already know this part. A person can smile and stab you in the back. The fake smile means you will not be hearing again from this person (unless something extraordinary happens in the conversation). It is the size of the smile that is critical. Read on.
If the smile is genuine the smile will affect their entire face. The edges of the mouth will almost reach the person’s eyes. A real smile transforms a person’s face. The smile will last between 0.5 and 4 seconds.
A fake smile lasts a shorter time – a quick flash and then it is gone. A fake smile can also last longer as the person holds the plastered look. Notice that a fake smile only involves the bottom half of the face. The eyes and cheeks are not impacted or involved.
To become well versed in body language – a helpful tool for dating – the internet has oodles of videos and information. However, that can be overwhelming. Focus on the smile and your tool belt of relationship tips will be well augmented.
Best to you Flicker. Remember that your fake smile can impact other’s impression as well! Take a look at your fake smile in the mirror. This is a fascinating exercise.
Dr. Pepper