I am recently retired. And I am lost.

Dear Pepper,

I am recently retired. And I am lost. I don’t know who I am now. Do you know who I am?

Former Important Person With a Job

Dear Friend,

Congratulations on crossing the finish line and retiring, and welcome to a form of puberty where you have to form an identity. You have addressed a huge issue – what am I without my job title, or without people counting on me at work?

Flippantly, you are free. Now free to learn what other talents and skills and interests you have suppressed or barely been able to nurture over 30-50 years of working. I highly recommend you take a journey to your childhood – mentally. What did you like doing before you were enslaved by the need to make money?

I think of former Presidents of the United States. (Why am I off on this tangential thought? It is because after holding the most prestigious position of power, what do they do with the rest of their lives? Talk about identity crisis.) Let’s reveal some of their retirements.

Four presidents painted: Ulysses S. Grant, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Jimmy Carter and George W. Bush

Volunteerism as the new identity and life’s mission:

Jimmy Carter worked hard on philanthropic causes, mainly Habitat for Humanity, well into his 90s. He received the Nobel Peace Prize in 2002 for co-founding the Carter Center, which works to gain peace in the world and eradicate diseases.

Writing:

Harry Truman, Bill Clinton

How about us plain folk? First let’s reflect on Freud’s theory of work-play balance. Work as a retired person can mean developing hobbies or volunteering or babysitting our grandchildren. Play – we actually should have time to play after all these years! Time to embrace play – whatever form that takes!

So, when someone asks what you do – the invasive question that asks you to identify doing with your identity – you can say, “I am retired and able to pursue my hobbies, volunteer and play. I highly recommend retirement!”

I wish you well in your retirement – may you find joy and wonderful activities that give your life meaning!

Dr. Pepper James