Dear Dr. Pepper,
I am so tired of online dating. I am ready to give up. I can’t stand another profile with a man holding a 4-foot fish in front of a large belly, with claims to be a gym rat.
What should I do?
Starting to Hate Fish.
Dear Fish Hater,
Sounds like a case of Swipe Exhaustion. Swipe Exhaustion, a real syndrome. A person swipes left for not interested and right for not entirely nauseated by the profile. Swipes to the left dominate. Carpel Tunnel sets in with all the left swipes.
Fatigue – exhaustion -frustration sets in as well. Dating could be fun but trying to navigate 100-200 profiles a week leads to a “swipe fatigue”. The number of dates generated from 500 swipes for men is said to be about 5 dates. Not good odds. No wonder people are discouraged.
Take a break Fish Hater. Take a week off or more. When you are rested and emotionally ready, here are some suggestions to prevent a cycle of Swipe Exhaustion:
· Select your matches based more on bio than looks. Looks fade. People usually use deceptively good pics of themselves. Looks are not going to keep a relationship going – the profile hopefully shows some aspects of their character.
· Expand your criteria so the algorithms don’t exclude a possibility.
· Take the time to get to know your match through messaging; ask meaningful questions that are lighthearted and fun.
· Limit the number of people you decide to meet in-person. Less risk of heartbreak. Focus on quality meetings not quantity.
· Don’t rush into an in-person meeting! Take your time in the messaging stage.
· Once you’ve chosen to meet someone in person, use fun but deep questions to ask on the first date. Be yourself and create a space where the other person can be themselves.
I wish you Fish Hater and all exhausted swipers well. There are so many success stories out there. You can be one of them, when you are ready.
Best,
Dr. Pepper
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