Dear Dr. Pepper,
Am I in the doghouse!? I messed up Valentine’s Day in a big way. Crud. I didn’t know I was suppose to buy my mom a card, and my roommate, and do something for my coworkers. Good grief. I am single so I thought Valentine’s Day was for couples. What’s with all these expectations of other people? What is up with this darn day?
Sincerely,
What's Up
Dear What’s Up,
So sorry you are getting negative feedback. Did your mom, roommate and coworkers give you something for Valentine’s Day or try to make the day special for you? If they did – that was their choice. Hopefully the act of giving gave them pleasure. There is no legislation dictating it has to be reciprocal. You did nothing wrong. You may have done nothing “right” either. But that is a choice. No one should guilt you into giving. I suggest you look at all the gift giving holidays. Decide which ones you wish to participate in. Decide who will be the recipients of your giving. You own your spirit of giving.
I have a personal example. I have a family member that years ago sent an email to all announcing he will not send birthday cards nor participate in gift giving and he does not expect to be the recipient either. Clear personal statement. Clear expectations. That is one way to deal with the endless birthdays, holidays, fake holidays – overall consumerism. I am not a proponent of this but totally respect this stance. My preference is to be inclusive and try to create joyful moments, to bridge the harshness of life with treats and surprises. Giving gives me pleasure and elevates my own mood.
You be you. Be clear to others that you appreciate their attention. Be equally clear if holiday giving is not your style. I am certain you are loved, and the motivation was to bring you happiness. I am also certain you give as you can, when you can, and most assuredly when it is needed. The world has room for all spectrums of giving. What is important is the consistent expressions of love, appreciation, nurturing and thoughtfulness that we all need on a daily basis.
Dr. Pepper